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Like that scene in Westside Story, but with less singing

Hillary “Every Thorn Sometimes Maybe Has a Black-Hearted Rose Around Somewhere” Clinton has finally opened fire on Barack “Sister Christian” Obama like we have longed for. After finding herself behind in Iowa, she’s shifted from Plan A: The Manchurian Candidate to Contingency Plan A: “Oh, hell, I’m a known quantity of frosty bitch and no good deed will change that.”

As she told reporters: “There’s a big difference between our courage and our convictions, what we believe and what we’re willing to fight for.” Asked if she was referring to Obama, she replied “It’s beginning to look a lot like that.” Um, ACTUALLY, it’s beginning to look a lot like CHRISTMAS. Because, again, RUMBLE RUMBLE RUMBLE.

Presidential Naughty or Nice.

Following the YouTube debate in New Hamphire last night, David Broder breaks down the real difference between Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani: not their policies, rather their personalities. He calls them “Mr. Nasty” and “Mr. Nice” and really does just a routine breakdown of Giuliani’s nastiness and Romney’s niceness.

Political correctness is incorrect for college students

There’s a piece in the American Thinker by Charles J. Sykes that got some publicity on Rush Limbaugh yesterday. Sykes talks about how the liberal reeducation seminars, programs, and campaigns that have dominated campuses in America since the 1960s have begun to lose their effectiveness. Organizations like the Foundation for Individual Rights in Educations (FIRE) […]

Ah, the religion of peace

So British school teacher Gillian Gibbons has been incarcerated in a Sudanese jail for three days. Her crime? Allowing her school children to name the class teddy bear "Mohammad", which is, of course, a direct violation of sharia law. Sharia is the law in Sudan, and thus a middle-aged teacher from England may be sentenced […]

LINKS!…Er, related to beverages?

If you’ve ever thought to yourself, “My, how terribly unfortunate it is that I do not know how to make a Christmas tree out of Mountain Dew cans,” you need to check this out. Despite this looking kind of cool, I’d probably prefer to drown in Mountain Dew than put that in my house.

Dr. Robert Cade, the doctor who invented Gatorade passed away due to kidney failure at age 80 today. There’s a good American tale of capitalism. What’s not so good is that vaguely unnerving photo that accompanies the article of the elderly man in a shawl drinking orange Gatorade.

"P-E-N-S-I-O-N"…Hmm. Looks a lot like "D-I-V-O-R-C-E."

Japanese marital problems have become a big problem, since a change in divorce law in 2006. The law, passed in 2003, entitles Japanese women divorcees to up to half of their husbands’ pensions. Shockingly, this has sparked a spike in the divorce rate. That’s right, you get a little too “He Thinks He’ll Keep Her” with things, the lady will book it out of there, pension in hand. The article, weirdly, details the this club of men who are learning how to love their wives, beginning with, like, just speaking to them when they come home or buying them a birthday gift. It’s kind of like the de-Stepfordizing of Japanese men.

For real, who isn't the PM of Pakistan?

Apparently, everybody and their grandmother was Prime Minister of Pakistan and they’ve all decided roll out now (and, yes, the looming threat of econ reading makes Pakistan seem thrilling). Yes, Bhutt O Plenty is not the only desperado in town: Nawaz Sharif (Musharraf’s predecessor) is back. This entire news item is rife with contextually inappropriate […]

Thanksgiving Roundup

Here at Torch, we believe the giving of thanks is of the utmost importance. We’ve taken this weekend to be reminded of the wondrous gifts with which we have been endowed: blistering intelligence, shining virtue, sparkling wit, a love of liberty, an intimate relationship with cost effectiveness, and such devastatingly good looks that mortals must avert their eyes should they endeavor to gaze upon us.

In the interest of sharing our profound wisdom, here are a few things we’re thankful for: