Hey, it’s October of the year before an election, and you all know what that means: it’s time for the 427th Democratic Primary Debate! Here’s the transcript of what went down. Keep in mind, everything here was actually said by the person saying it…not quite in this order, but whatever. That’s right…go ‘head on and break ‘em off wit’ a lil’ preview of the REMIX.
MR. RUSSERT: Good evening, and welcome. We have some big issues to talk about tonight, so let's start right now. Governor Richardson, would you make a solemn commitment to the American people that Iran will not become a nuclear power?
GOV. RICHARDSON: Are you asking me because I'm the Hispanic here?
SEN. CLINTON: Yes.
MR. GRAVEL: Do you have to ask that question?
MR. RUSSERT: But my question—
SEN. CLINTON: I know what the question is.
MR. RUSSERT: The question is—
MS. KING: Red Sox or Yankees?
SEN. CLINTON: I’m a Yankees fan. Have been for a long, long time.
MR. EDWARDS: Red Sox.
MR. RUSSERT: He disagrees with you.
MR. EDWARDS: Good people have differences about this issue.
GOV. RICHARDSON: And I also disagree with Senator Clinton.
MR. RUSSERT: That’s a serious charge.
GOV. RICHARDSON: Well, I have a fundamental difference with Senator Obama, Senator Edwards and Senator Clinton. Here's my position…
MS. KING: Your time is up, Governor Richardson.
SEN. CLINTON: [Chuckles].
GOV. RICHARDSON: No, no, wait. What—no, wait.
GOV. RICHARDSON dies. Exeunt.
MR. RUSSERT: I want to turn to politics and money. Senator Clinton—
SEN. CLINTON: Yes.
MR. RUSSERT: If you had to do it all over again, would you not have taken that money?
SEN. CLINTON: I don't think there is any choice.
MR. RUSSERT: But Senator Clinton –
SEN. CLINTON: We haven't had it. We need it. And I will provide it.
MR. RUSSERT: Ah. [Screams].
SEN. CLINTON: Now we've got to make up for lost time.
MR. RUSSERT: Let me leave it at that, because I've got to give everyone a chance.
MR. RUSSERT: Senator Biden, would you get it done?
SEN. BIDEN: No.
MR. RUSSERT: But your statement said, "I can understand why the president would want Senator Clinton." That's what you said.
SEN. BIDEN: The answer is yes. I'm probably the only one up here who's going to say that.
MR. RUSSERT: You've changed dramatically on this issue.
MR. BIDEN: No, no, I’m with you.
SEN. DODD: Well, if I were Hillary Clinton, I'd be very worried.
MR. RUSSERT: It is not a hypothetical, Senator. It's real life.
SEN. DODD: I know how to do this.
SEN. CLINTON: [Laughs].
MR. RUSSERT: You'll get it done.
SEN. DODD: Yes, I will, sir.
MR. RUSSERT: How can you do it in one year?
MR. GRAVEL: Real fast?
SEN. OBAMA: My wife has.
SEN. BIDEN: I have experience doing that.
SEN. DODD: Well, I think we're going to have that opportunity over and over again in the coming days. I think it's a little unrealistic to assume every single day you do that, Mike, but certainly you can do this when the opportunity arises.
MR. RUSSERT: This, after all, is New Hampshire.
MR. EDWARDS: But look at what I've done. Look at what I've done.
SEN. CLINTON: It was worth trying.
MR. BIDEN: Oh.
SEN. OBAMA: My.
MR. GRAVEL: God.
SEN. BIDEN: The torture. No, no, no.
MR. EDWARDS: I'm proud of what I've done with my life, and I do not apologize for it.
MR. RUSSERT: What do you put on the table?
MR. EDWARDS: Nobody made me God. I don't get to decide.
SEN. OBAMA: I think I've said before everything should be on the table.
SEN. CLINTON: I'm not putting anything on the proverbial table.
REP. KUCINICH: We should raise the ceiling.
MR. RUSSERT: Senator Gravel?
MR. GRAVEL: My God, yes, do it! And, Tim, you're really missing something. This is Fantasyland.
MR. RUSSERT: Fair enough. All right.
SEN. OBAMA: You know, if we spend all our time feeding the American people fear and conflict and division, then they become fearful and conflicted and divided. And if we feed them hope, and we feed them reason and tolerance, then they will become tolerant and reasonable and hopeful.
SEN. CLINTON: [Laughs].
SEN. OBAMA: And most importantly it's important for us to make sure that we're telling the truth to the American people.
SEN. BIDEN: Well, we did that once, I supported that.
MR. EDWARDS: I cannot make that commitment.
SEN. CLINTON: It could very well be a sign of the coming apocalypse, were that to ever occur.
MR. RUSSERT: Senator Clinton, favorite Bible verse?
SEN. CLINTON: The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. I think it's a good rule for politics, too.
SEN. CLINTON: [Laughs].
MR. RUSSERT: Congressman Kucinich?
REP. KUCINICH: You know
SEN. OBAMA: The world
SEN. CLINTON: Be
SEN. BIDEN: ‘raq in
MR. EDWARDS: To it
SEN. DODD: To it
MR. GRAVEL: So
SEN. OBAMA: Do it
SEN. CLINTON: Do it
SEN. BIDEN: Do it
MR. EDWARDS: To it.
REP. KUCINICH: I carry that with me at every debate.
SEN. DODD: Three thousand kids start smoking every day in this country.
MR. RUSSERT: Are you talking about the Bushes, the Clintons or both?
SEN. DODD: Me.
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