Florida Flexes Its Mussels in Georgia Drought

In apparent retribution for last month’s loss to the Bulldogs, Florida has heightened its war with Georgia over use of regional federal reservoirs. The Peach State now finds itself facing a war on two fronts: already struggling to meet Alabama’s demands for increased water flow to power its new nuclear plant built alongside the Chattahoochee River, Georgia also bears the blame for the unacceptable standard of living of a certain species of federally protected mussel, which depends on water diverted from Georgia’s Lake Lanier to survive comfortably. With a dwindling eighty days of useable drinking water remaining in the lake, which provides water to most of north Georgia, the state faces its worst water crisis in recorded history.