The Vanderbilt Torch

Cooperation game: Albright at IMPACT

"People don't like the word 'multilateralism' because it has too many syllables and ends in an-ism," former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright said twice during her appearance at IMPACT.

After warming up the audience with anecdotes from her own college days and the occasional recognition at inconvenient times, Albright launched into outlining the specific issues President Obama must now addresss, from nuclear proliferation to climate change, the financial crisis to fighting terrorism without breeding more.

Did IMPACT matter?

How good was IMPACT? Depends on the criteria.

Madeleine Albright and Natan Sharansky are bang up speakers, without doubt. Witty, powerful, rich with detail — the Vanderbilt Speakers Committee succeeded on that front.

Originality may be another story.

Facebook owns your soul, forever

If you ask a parent about college kids and the internet—like some odd version of “if you give a mouse a cookie”—they will say Facebook, no doubt. Social media’s Jupiter currently connects more than 170 million people—and most college students. But does Facebook wield too much power?

Monday, Facebook announced a significant change in operations, hidden to the average user: Facebook owns all your content, forever.

Tennessee politics: a Song of the South

Tennessee’s the kind of place with lore. Built on it, even. The state’s brash Americana—a balance between rough, Jack Daniels frontier mentality and the smooth sheen of Countrypolitan—thrives on stories.

It’s a lore rife with cracks, of course, from Old Hickory to the TVA. Tammy Wynette once said, “The sad part about happy endings is there's nothing to write about.” That’s Tennessee.

So, when the GOP assumed majority control of the state legislature in January for the first time ever—140 years of politics—heartbreak and Machiavellian horse-trading were destined. This time, the crazy fell on the Speaker of the House race.

Rebuilding the Party

As the country knows too well, a majestic cornucopia of factors contributed to the epic fail known as the 2008 election for the GOP and conservative movement. While the GOP’s lack of ideological cohesion may chief among these outside Barack Obama’s terrific allure, we also bore witness to the mass media, Web 2.0 juggernaut propelling the Obama campaign into pop culture phenomenon. Now, the President-Elect will deliver his weekly address via streaming video on YouTube. While substance and message can't be forsaken, conservatives must advance in terms of style and medium to compete effectively.

Sarah Palin: Love Lockdown.

Like she does, Nancy Sinatra imparted some wisdom unto us all in 1967: “You only live twice ... one life for yourself, and one for your dreams.” Sarah Palin, the conservative folk hero, will live twice. Our current Palin remains raw and imperfect, yet dazzling; the Palin of 2012 could very well be a titan.

Over the weekend, an anonymous McCain campaign staffer derided Palin to Politico’s Ben Smith as “a diva. She takes no advice from anyone…she is playing for her own future and sees herself as the next leader of the party. Remember: divas trust only unto themselves."

Curiously, Palin has succeeded largely since she reportedly began evading her Bush handlers following the burial of the dead known as the Katie Couric interview. But, more importantly, our anonymous chap fails to recognize one inalienable truth: Sarah Palin is the future of the party.

The Conservative's Guide to the End of the World

It appears the end times are upon us. Wall Street’s bleeding faster than a wolf Sarah Palin shot from a helicopter, the average Nashvillian has turned into Daniel Day-Lewis in There Will Be Blood just for a gallon of gas, and Vandy actually beat Auburn. Besides, the terrible, terrible rise of the Jonas Brothers may well have been Satan galloping towards us wearing a skinny tie and Dan Humphrey vest.

Should we have known better? It seems if you loan sketchy individuals money, there is a mild to moderate chance they will not pay you back. Who could ever have anticipated that particular economic development?

But, more importantly, what does the future hold? Well, call me a gypsy wench and toss me a deck of tarot cards and all of the both fashionable and functional outfits Jane Seymour wears in Live and Let Die because, dear conservative brethren, I will now foretell America’s future.

Non-Required Reading

Those who have noted the oblique attempts to change campus culture by way of the Commons finally have some source material: “The Book 2008.”

“The Book,” distributed to all freshmen before classes, combined information pertinent to the hundred years of orientation (a schedule, a map, etc.) with the curriculum for Vanderbilt Visions—67 essays by administrators, professors, and students aimed at covering the “mosaic” of Vanderbilt Dean Frank Wcislo discusses.

Freshmen have claimed they read nary a word of The Book, excepting the schedule of events for orientation. But, during orientation everybody at least nervously flips through something like “The Book.” Regardless, since the essays will serve as curriculum for Visions, they will be read eventually. And when they do, they will likely have been integrated more fully into campus life and culture.

The Conservative's Guide to Gainful Summer Employment

As of late, a fair share of the Torch staff has been on the Oregon Trail of summer internships, ever inching towards Portland, dropping Snake-Bitten Sarah among the buffalo when they need to.

Because your parents will likely live forever, luring your tax dollar out of Social Security until you begin to sound like the church mice in Robin Hood or a Dickens character, your inheritance will be delayed longer than you think. Thus, sadly, you must work. To find that gainful employment, however, you must sack up and work during the summer. Let me take you on a sweet journey.

The Conservative's Guide to St. Valentine's Day

A Brief History of St. Valentine’s Day: The Story of St. Valentine, The Story of American Consumerism

A while back, St. Valentine was martyred February 14. Evidently, he was martyred for events that had nothing at all to do with any kind of romance. Yes, much like Fergie’s dominance over our souls or Sly Stallone’s endorsement of John McCain, the assignation of the romantic connotation to Valentine’s Day was a completely arbitrary decision. So how did we get to where we are, in Cupid’s wind-tunnel vacuum?